New Years thoughts

Some of my digressions.

One day of missed training, you fall behind one week. One week of missed training, you fall behind one month. Etc etc. My father used to say this to me often. I would think, what a crazy guy, similar to Goggins. The more I read and watch on those who are the best of the best in their chosen craft, such is the mentality. To be different, you need to do things differently. I don't mean this to be different just for the sake of it. In order to achieve your purpose and chosen goal, you need to do the things the average person doesn't want to do. Now this mentality applied to the common person, can make society a competitive one. Much of human nature is all based on survival, in whatever matrix or game. I was speaking to a friend, a 65 year old American who was saying how Sydney and Los Angeles were similar. The rush of the rat race and the fakeness. Sydney is a place for people to grind. But of course, 2022 has taught me the importance of balance. Do things with a smile. People mistake smilers and laughers to be the bludgers. Of course, there are many who are. But I truly respect those who can smile and say a joke while doing their absolute best for themselves and for others.

Speaking to a friend who has recently been speaking discussing with me about changing genders and undergoing the physical transition, I felt amazed at how little I understood this increasingly spoken about topic. In this aspect, I do feel a generation gap but I am interested to understand how society has transformed to create a gateway for more people to delve into gender fluidity. In my reference groups of teaching young children as young as 6 years old, I've come across many people who have been trialing different gender representations. Most of the thematic reasons are identity confusion, feeling drawn to another gender which seem often catalysed by bad interactions/relationships while the person was cisgender and heterosexual. And of course, identity is absolutely important to get your head and heart around. I am concerned that in an effort to find one's true identity, the amount of noise and distractions that have been amplified by society will confuse a lot of young children. But perhaps that is the path that must be taken and there will be no stopping it. We need to travel our own paths.

The feeling of 'something isn't quite right', should be listened to more. This is difficult as of course, balance and capacity must be taken into account. Being in tune with that 'sixth sense' or gut feeling, whatever you may call it is a skill in itself. It takes time to hone and more importantly, it takes effort. Dating yourself, listening to yourself and getting to know yourself inward and outward. In a world of distractions, I cannot stress enough to myself or those around me that we need to sit in absolute silence. That includes no music, no streaming services in the background. Absolute silence, meditation if you call it that (I don't use this word to the layperson too much as there is some misconceptions). The problem I find with music or TV (let's just call it TV for now...) is that it amplifies certain biases and feelings. It may do the opposite too. The point is, at times when you need to be with yourself and nothing but yourself, you need no other stimulus than your mind, heart and soul. Do you notice the smell of the rain? Do you notice the sound of the wind? We are not present enough. Mindlessly on autopilot due to poor routine or engaging "mindfully" in destructive activities. It is the wrong kind of balance and in order to change, there must be immense effort. The hardest type of work in my opinion, is the consistent grind to do things that must be done. And man, this stuff is hard. But like after a good workout, that delayed gratification feeling is unbuyable.

I am proud for being able to regain control over my life and being able to say to my old vices, "I don't need you anymore!" This aspect of my cognitive dissonance has been resolved. I don't doubt for one second that there will be more times of temptations and tests of discipline. But I'm grateful that I have come this far and it strengthens my resolve.

Continue being uncomfortable, the answers are here. Bring on 2023!

P.S. New Years has sparked some interests in Neoclassical prestissimo. Would be keen on recommendations.