How bad do you want it?

I did an exercise with a client: holding onto a pen for dear life. I asked him to hold the pen as hard as he could. As in most cases, such a request is quite peculiar and his reaction was a bit of confusion but he trusted that there is a greater purpose behind this exercise and grabbed the pen. I kept telling him over the course of 5 minutes, "grab it harder", "come on" with intensity.

The first 30 seconds he giggled nervously and with confusion. He was very very easily distracted as he was holding the pen with a very loose grip. People walking past, he would look over and he would loosen his grip. His phone and watch made notification sounds and he would loosen his grip and look at his phone. In response to my intensity, he would buckle and laugh.

The next minute, he began to get used to the exercise. He began to recognise my words were of support, despite the toughness. Distractions became understood as simply distractions. His facial expression and eyes changed. He was clearly focused, even to the point he was starting to forget to breathe and tense up. I began to try to pry his grip, but his grip was iron strong. I pried harder but his grip would not falter.

This client had never really wanted anything badly in his life. His life was enabled by forces other than his own will. He lacked urgency and hunger to survive. This pen was one of the first times he was fighting for something. He pushed past distractions, he pushed past his own self-doubt and made it through to the end.

This made me question myself and those I care about. How bad did we want something? When were we so hungry, so desperate to make/gain/attain something? We hear stories of famished people, we hear stories of those who were told countless they weren't enough, we hear these underdogs and how bad they wanted something. What about us? I notice more these days about how 'healthy' people will try to create hunger. Even if they have a roof over their heads, they are financially secure, their minds crave more. We need to be challengers, we need to be hungry.

I admire those who have a goal. I admire those who will do whatever it takes to achieve their goal. I admire those who can adapt to never lose themselves, their morality and balance. We need to be put into situations of suffering. At rock bottom, or any situation where you are feeling negative emotions, the opportunities are there. View obstacles as opportunities.