Love

To me, ‘love’ is one topic which made me very confused. It is THE most difficult topic as it underpins humanity. I said above that logic and reasoning should come at the forefront of our decision making as emotions are rampant and unpredictable EVEN with logic. So what do we do about love????????? Well these are my current thoughts. I will probably look back the next day and think… lol. By the way, love is not necessarily about romantic relationships… I think we often separate different types of love too much to the point where we don’t dig deep enough to the concept of ‘love’ as a sole, uncoloured concept. There is many ways in which love is all connected, how you love your partner, your parents, your friends, your pets, your culture etc.

I used to believe compatability was the most important aspect of a relationship. There were moments where I doubted this and then reverted back to this belief. But as I write this now, I believe I was ultimately naïve. One of my best friends often told me I was naïve. You know who you are if you are reading this. Thank you for always being real and constructive.

I now believe the most important aspect of ‘love’ is understanding. Supplementing this, MUST (in my opinion) be a willingness to understand from day one. I often hear love (REMINDER this is for not just romantic but in all forms of ‘love’) is strengthened when tested with adversities and overcoming them… What is common when facing these adversities together? Understanding; understanding of a common goal, understanding of the situation, understanding of the obstacles and effort required…. What needs to be done! Love doesn’t magically strengthen… it strengthens when there is mutual understanding. It is not about mutual effort. How can you put effort into something you do not understand? It is normal to not understand things. We are human. But do we TRY to understand each other?

As I thought above… It is not possible to always be in the same frequency. Being compatible all the time is NOT HUMANLY REALISTIC. To be able to detach and then attach, to be able to be light-hearted and to be serious… The duality of humanity! There must be understanding for this!

Commitment, you say? What DRIVES your commitment? Is it just this vague concept but strong desire for ‘commitment’? What is driving your commitment must be addressed. What is fuelling your car? Is it electricity, is it diesel, it is petrol? Without knowing, you are gambling and subsequently creating a huge error that inhibits progression. It must be UNDERSTANDING and wanting to FURTHER the understanding that drives commitment. Once you understand, maybe you don’t want to further the understanding??

So when are you ready? You probably won’t ever truly be ready. But! Love yourself first. Then try to love others. Otherwise you are switching in between personas too much. Love takes effort, love takes energy. Ask yourself these questions:

• Have you identified your traumas?

• Have you addressed these traumas?

• Have you identified how you deal with these traumas?

• Have you taken responsibility for yourself?

• You are where you are today because of the choices you made yesterday.

• P.S. these traumas go all the way back to your earliest memories of childhood

Without understanding… you are potentially wasting your opportunity in a connection. You are damaging it with rubbish, delusions, negativity and more trauma. UNLEARNING is the GREATEST FORM OF LEARNING.

Healing is hard. That is underrated. HEALING is DIFFICULT. Time doesn’t always heal. Time aids the understanding and evaluation process. It DOES NOT heal just magically. Nothing happens out of NOWHERE. If you condition yourself to this, that will be your reality and expectation going forward.

“if you are in Hell… why stay there? GET OUT!” To get out of damage, you should change settings. BREATHE. Change your setting, change your mood, get out of the cause of negativity at the point. COMBINE the physical and mental of who you are. To take on your mind, you can’t just take on your mind. Your body must be in touch, be capable too. We are humans, we LIVE off our physical realm. Exercise, take care of your body! Convergence of your mind and body so you can have a safe space/solace within yourself to ask yourself the big questions.